I remember our honeymoon, God gave me my first lesson in "Mother No! Wife yes:)" but at the time it wasn't that direct.Even before that God taught me that, if I really want my husband to lead our relationship to his potential, I have to give him the opportunities, because the moment a women steps into that position is the moment he will not. I read recently that their is an epidemic of "men that can shave," meaning that men are more immature, selfish and not leading then ever. They are strictly obsessed with consuming and not necessarily producing. The article blamed society, media, enabling mothers and girlfriends on this problem. But what happens to these "men that can shave" after they get married? There is still an epidemic of men not leading, right?
God said, "... a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh" in Genesis 2:24.I just realized another meaning within this apart from the unity of two people. This verse also means a man now has no longer the need for a mother but now a wife. On my honeymoon, I was frustrating my newly husband, hours after our wedding because I was acting like his momma. I was accidentally making ALL the decisions. Telling him what to wear, were to park and correcting several more of his actions. Even more sadly was realizing recently my tendencies of acting like his mother and their effects. As a wife if I am constantly trying to correct or lead him, I am giving him the perfect opportunity to not lead. Not only that I could strip him of all his identity.
A mother teaches their child to encourage them but a wife is to encourage their husbands to teach them. That is why God calls us to submit or "humble ourselves" to our husbands. Being my husbands biggest fan encourages him to have confidence in his decisions but also teaches him to lead me the way I desire. The opposite is true, if I try to constantly teach my husband things hoping to encourage him to lead will not work because he has not a need for a mother anymore.
I was in a relationship once where I felt like I was my boyfriend's mother... I want to be someone's lover, not their mother! Thank you for the encouraging blog :-)
ReplyDelete